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| Jokes
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Signs That You Are No Longer A Kid
-You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
-You can live without sex but not without glasses.
-Your back goes out more than you do.
-You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
-You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
-You are proud of your lawn mower.
-Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any
laws.
-Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
-You sing along with the elevator music.
-You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
-You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
-You make an appointment to see the dentist.
-You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
-People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
-You answer a question with, "Because I said so"
-You send money to PBS.
-The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
-You take a metal detector to the beach.
-You wear black socks with sandals.
-You know what the word "equity" means.
-You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
-Your ears are hairier than your head.
-You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
-You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
-You got cable for the weather channel. ("Old Folks MTV")
-You can go bowling without drinking.
-You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
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