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| Jokes
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A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted.
Saint Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the
guy's name is written in it. After several minutes, Peter
closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I'm sorry,
I don't see your name written in the Book."
"How current is your copy?" he asks.
"I get a download every ten minutes," Peter replies,
"why do you ask?"
"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn
type. It was not until my death was immanent that I cried
out to God, so my name probably hasn't arrived to your copy
yet."
"I'm glad to hear that," Peter says, "but while we're
waiting for the update to come through, can you tell me
about a really good deed that you did in your life?"
The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there
was this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw
a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor
girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were,
about 20 of 'em abusing this poor woman, knockin' her around
and all.
Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my
trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge
guy; 6 foot 4 inch, 260 pounds, with a studded leather
jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I
walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around
me and told me to get lost or I'd be next.
"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed
him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around
and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent
girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals!
Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"Oh, about three minutes ago."
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