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| Jokes
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God summons St.Peter, "St.Peter, we have a problem. Heaven is full. However,
we have a number of high profile candidates waiting at the gates, and we are
suffering from falling popularity. So, I'm going to throw out Mother Teresa
and let in one of the celebrities at the gate.
You'll have to go and decide who is most suitable."
St. Peter goes down to the pearly gates and finds Freddie Mercury, Gianni
Versacci and Princess Di waiting for him.
He says "I'm afraid I can only let one of you in, so each of you must come up
with a reason for admission into heaven."
Freddie says, "I've been gifted with one of the most beautiful voices to ever
grace the earth. I'll spend my time in heaven singing praises to God with the
choirs of angels. Heaven will never have sounded better."
Gianni says, "I was earth's greatest designer. I will outfit the cherubs and
angels in all the latest fashions - long silky gowns, satin cloaks and
nightwear spun from the very clouds we stand on. Heaven will never have looked
better."
Diana blushes a little, looks around nervously and seems unable to find
something suitable to say. Suddenly, she strips off her skirt and panties,
whips out a bottle of Perrier, shakes it up and douches with it.
St. Peter says, "Ok, Diana, you may enter. Have a nice day"
Freddie and Gianni are mortified. "What's going on here?? We could make heaven
look and sound better than ever before, and she performs a disgusting,
pornographic act, but she gets in and we don't"
St. Peter just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Sorry guys, but a royal flush
beats a pair of queens any day".
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